Friday, August 10, 2012

TELLING MY CHILDREN THE LESSONS OF LIFE & DEATH (Spanglish)

Se que es muy dificil comprender la muerte y mas cuando sufren tanto. No creo que es nuestro deber comprender, sino, aceptarlo como parte de la vida. Es triste, muy triste y no hay explicacion. Como le dije a mis hijos anoche - todo tiene su principio y su fin. TODO.(thank you to my friend, Ani for that reminder!) Les dije que TODOS tenemos que morir y no podemos elegir como va hacer. Tuve la charla mas dificil de mi vida cuando le tuve que decir a mis hijos que fallecio su Tia. Fue horible. Verles la cara de inocencia y el gran dolor que sintireron en ese momento. Lloraron mucho, pero aproveche el momento para enseñarle muchas cosas. Que tenemos que tener fé que hay algo mejor, si no el dolor es intolerable. Les dije que en el cielo no hay dolor ni sufrimeinto. Les dije que si uno no cree en nada, entonces la vida es muy dificil e inaceptable. Mi hija lloraba y me decia "I prayed and prayed and it didn't work." And I taught her how sometimes we have to pray so that the person does not suffer anymore and that G-d took her because he needed another angel. I told them that perhaps they were angels at one time and when it was time for me to have kids, G-d sent me these two angels. They looked at each other and high-fived each other, as if to say, Yeah, we were angels and now we are here! I explained to them how we cry because we miss the person but that we have to have faith that the deceased is in a better place watching over us. And how we have to honor their memory by continuing to live and learn from the person who has passed. Each and every person we have lost has taught us SOMETHING. Whether we loved them or not, if they were in our lives, it was for a PURPOSE. Perhaps one you cannot comprehend right now but eventually, you will find yourself doing or saying something you learned from that person. The most difficult part is always in trying to grasp the concept of why the person suffered so much and why they left us so early. IF you have faith and believe that we choose to come to Earth to fulfill ourselves and PERHAPS we are given a specific way of death, that perhaps it is "written" - perhaps it is to teach the others something - the family and friends that surround you. 

 After all, life IS but a moment in time. When you think about the loved ones you've lost, you try not to harp on how they died but on how they LIVED. On how wonderful it was to have them in your life. What a blessing it was. It is all summed up into a few outstanding memories and how somehow you were touched by that person. And so....as I taught my kids, life is much more bearable when you have faith and believe that there is a time and a purpose for everything. Sure there will be heartache and sure you will wake up with a whole in your heart, after the loss, but somehow, you have to suck it up and go on. Go on in the hopes, that you are serving your purpose here on Earth and some day we will all be at peace with no heartache or suffering. As I read in a quote earlier this week: "Wisdom is just healed pain," and by now, I know we are all just a little bit wiser. Like I told my kids, (and it is how I want it to be for me when my time comes,) we are going to have a "party" and celebrate life. We should not mourn death but celebrate that life we have no matter how short-lived it is. 

And as I taught them all this, I convinced myself of the same.

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