Never thought I’d see the day to actually EARN this title, but apparently I have. I AM “The Meanest-Mother-Ever,” at least in the eyes of my younger children, especially my teenager. We have a blended family of five children, but only the youngest two are “lucky” enough to experience my true “meanest-mother phase." I’m really not that mean, all the time, well, maybe most of the time. J.K. Some times.
I guess, every time I say, “No,” it earns me points for being mean, kind of like a frequent-flyer mileage program, only without the great trips. Someday, I know I will reap the benefits of these points. Actually, I’m hoping they will. Someday, they will get it. I kind of get it, why they think I am mean.
I have memories of being a teenager, I’d say about thirteen or fourteen years-old and being so mad at my mother that I would stand behind my closed bedroom door mouthing curse words silently. I know, really rebellious, right? Ha! But to a kid growing up with two very strict Hispanic parents, this behavior would be punishable for months, if she had actually heard me! (Boy, how times have changed!)
How could she not understand? How could she be so mean to me? I use to be so rude to her after she would say "no" to me, kind of how my daughter is to me now. Although, in my defense, I do not say "no" very often, at least I don't think I do,only when I feel very strongly about something or I am just plain PMS'ing (LOL!)
I know it sounds like I was really rude to my mom but honestly, she never heard what I was actually saying and thinking, and I certainly never disrespected my mother for real. Of course, I would have never in a million years dared to do that in front of her or anyone else for that matter, but at that moment, when she said “no” to me, in my typical teenage-mode, I hated her. Well, I wouldn't exactly say "hate" but I would get furious at her. I was so frustrated, as I am sure every teenager gets when they don't get their way. I can’t even remember the exact specifics of what I was so upset about but I do remember being so angry with her and thinking she was so mean.
All who knew her, knew she was an amazing woman with a heart of gold. Why someone would ever be mad at her, or think she was mean, would be quite the shocker, but I, her teenage daughter, certainly was back then and quite often. I didn’t care how “wonderful” or “nice” she was. She was the one person standing between me and “fun.” Whatever I thought fun was back then, she was not allowing it. Sure my dad was the silent strict one but she was the one, who handled the day-to-day, discipline and ultimately decided if I was allowed to go to a party or the mall, or wherever it was I was begging to go at the time. There were so many things she did not allow. She would not let me watch certain TV programs because she thought they were too violent, she did not let me hang out with certain "friends" because they were not a good influence, she did not allow me to go to the high school of my choice because she felt the one she chose was the better option, academically speaking. She always, always had to speak to my friend’s parents before I could go anywhere with them. Wait, what I am I talking about, most of the time, a parent had to go with us. For a while there, I thought my life was miserable and I could never do anything, like all the other kids did.
Reality was, I had a great childhood with two amazing parents, who truly loved each other and a mother who did not back down on her convictions. Looking back now as an adult, I can see how truly blessed I was. I can see now, how my “mean mother” (or so I thought she was then) made all the right choices for me and my younger brother. Truth is, she was one of the kindest, most-gentle souls I have ever known, but what does a 13-year old know when they are mad? Perhaps, it is more evident to me because she is no longer with me or probably more so, because I am a mother now.
My mother’s life was cut short at age 50 by breast cancer and as sad as that was for me and as difficult as the years that followed were, it shaped me into the person I am today.
I am far from being as wonderful and loving as my mom was, but now that I am experiencing teenage years, as a mother, I will do my damn best to be the “meanest-mother ever” if I have to be! If that means I have to protect my children from hanging out with the wrong crowd, or God forbid, having them do homework before going somewhere they want or saying, “No, you cannot have your cell phone,” if they get bad grades, or taking away privileges like PlayStation and TV, then I am going to do my best to earn that title. I may not always “stick to my guns” with discipline the way she did, but in the eyes of my children, I am just mean enough to know I am doing a good job so far.
Here’s hoping you too are a “mean mom,” in every good way possible!
Lissette Rozenblat a.k.a. "Mommy Warrior," is a "mompreneur"and mother to an amazing "blended" family of 5 children, "The Blat Pack." She is an influential mommy blogger, a bilingual marketing, social media and communications professional, brand ambassador, brain surgery survivor, living kidney donor, Founder of ThePowertobeHappy.com , The Gift of Life: a Living Kidney Donor Group, HealthWealthFreedom.net and owner of MiaMoon Marketing, Inc, a boutique social media management company.
She blogs about the adventures and musings of her Argie-Cuban-American-Jewish family on MommyWarriorLady.com and MommyWarrior Facebook page, where she shares real-life stories, humor, quotes, family pictures, recipes and pretty much a little bit of everything. She mainly blogs about topics that relate to moms and family for readers like you, who love to read about real people and real life.