Here I am one more time using my blog as a vehicle to vent and make myself feel better. Don't know how that really works but it does, for me! So, here I am at that middle age, more or less (45 yrs.) The age where I get really paranoid, not because I have ever cared about age or acted my age, but because it is around the same age that my own mother (G-d rest her soul) found out she had cancer the first time. You can see why I live with the constant fear that it will also happen to me? Maybe? I know better, especially since I know about the self-fulfilling prophecy, but deep down in my sub-conscious is that deep-rooted fear that I just can't shake.
Recently, when I started feeling "weird" I thought to myself "oh, oh, here we go!" I started having headaches, blurry vision, ocular migraines and an overall feeling of not "feeling right." I kept telling my best friend, I don't feel right. She kept telling me "you'll be fine." And I kept saying, "I know my body."
I usually do not go to the doctor. Yea, sure I donated my kidney and all but that was enough for me, other than the basics, you know, the doctor for pap and mammogram. So, if you know me, you know I had to be feeling really weird to go to the doctor twice in two weeks and pursue an answer, which I got! I insisted on seeing the main doctor, not just the P.A's (even though they are good too) but experience tops it all and my doctor has just that.
The doctor order an MRI for me. Two of them as a matter of fact. Once with contrast and one without. And "wala," my diagnosis.
I never thought I would be grateful to have a diagnosis of a MENINGIOMA. I will let you Google that one. You can do a little research as you read too!
For now, all I know is that 90% of the time it is benign and I am happy to take that. I do have to have surgery but I am fortunate that it is operable!
All in all, if I have to have something, I'll take this. I don't know what else life has in store for me down the line, but hopefully, it will be what I can handle.
No matter what I have to go through, I am very grateful as this happens to me on Thanksgiving weekend 2013. I am grateful for my life, my kids, my family, my friends and all my experiences, good, bad and in between!