Wednesday, August 13, 2014


As I sat at the rink in the "figure skater" side, I analyzed so many parents faces.  I am usually on the hockey side, where it's more aggressive with more yelling and screaming but this time I was observing a different perspective.  Either way, my conclusion was the same, sometimes as parents we are never satisfied with our children's performance.  Sure, I understand how we all want the best for our kids but sometimes, just being proud and a few words of encouragement are all a child needs.  Anyone of us, really.

I watched how some of the moms watching their "figure skaters" cringed every time their skater did something wrong.  I get it because I do the same thing on the "hockey side" but this time, I was an outside observer.

There I was, watching these young kids & young teens skating at incredible speed and doing amazing pirouettes, and thinking they are fabulous.  Sure, they need practice but I could see they were trying "their best" and doing a fantastic job in their own right.

It is through this "outside" lens that I observed and learned  that I must take this lesson with me to the "hockey side" and to life: to learn to give my children LOVE and SUPPORT and above-all, ENCOURAGEMENT and to remember that they are trying their best.

Sometimes, we forget how young and fragile they really are.  It is usually our own hopes and dreams that we try to instill in them and then demand of them.

Here are some tips to remember to support & encourage your child:



1.  Be careful what you say. Kids can be sensitive to parents' and others' words.

2.  Be a positive role model. Nurture your own self-esteem and they'll have a great role model.

3.  Identify and redirect inaccurate beliefs.  Helping kids set more accurate standards and be more
     realistic in evaluating themselves will help them have a healthy self-concept.

4.  Be spontaneous and affectionate. Your love will help boost your child's self-esteem. Give hugs
     and tell kids you're proud of them when you can see them putting effort toward something or
     trying something at which they previously failed.

5.  Create a safe, loving home environment. Kids who don't feel safe or are abused at home are at
     greatest risk for developing poor self-esteem. A child who is exposed to parents who fight and
     argue repeatedly may feel they have no control over their environment and become helpless or

6. Remember that you are your child's best teacher. School, educational games and 
    television,shelf full of books all can't accomplish what you can in the education of your child.
7.  Provide your child with free time. Children need plenty of free time to discover and explore. 
     Don't jam pack your schedule with errands and activities.
8.  Over-praising kids does more harm than good.   If you keep telling your child she is already 
     doing a fantastic job, you’re saying she no longer needs to push herself.
9.  Encourage them to pursue their interests (fully.) Encourage children to take on tasks they 
     show interest in, then make sure they follow through to completion.
10. Don’t lose sleep over itParents think that struggles and failure will hurt their kids’  
      self-esteem, but it’s actually a golden opportunity to help build it.”

Remember, " Self-confidence rises out of a sense of competence. In other words, kids develop confidence not because parents tell them they're great, but because of their achievements, big and small."

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