So it has been two months since my craniotomy and I can honestly say I have come a long way both physically and emotionally! I am about to celebrate my birthday at the end of this month and I am eternally gratefully to G-d, the Universe, whoever is in charge! Even though I am not currently working, I am happy in having the time and health to have taken up my "mom duties" again! Somehow, I had lapsed in this department. Not only was I working full-time, an hour away, somehow, I had grown apathetic and aloof. I don't know if I can blame it on my brain tumor but having survived one, I can definitely say, changed my life's perspective.
It is okay if I have to be in long car lines two times a day times two kids and it is okay if I have to go to the grocery store three times a week or pick up every shoe thrown around the house. I can appreciate those priceless moments, when my son tells me "Mommy, you are the best mom ever," when I know I am not. I recognized that we don't have "forever." I mean, I knew this as I experienced the death of my mom, many years ago but somehow, when you go through a life-altering experience, it hits home in a way that nothing else does.
I am also grateful to have found a group online of women (and some men) https://www.facebook.com/groups/56743583446/ to ask questions when in doubt. Things I wonder like, how long is my head going to feel numb? And what others reactions were to steroids. P.S. I can honestly say that coming off of steroids was one of the worst experiences!
All in all, I realized that I was extremely lucky in having had a Grade 1 tumor (benign.) I remember standing in front of the mirror and seeing my head open (as my incision re-opened during a setback) and crying, not because of my scar, but because I imagined the heartache my mom and so many others went through having the knowledge that they would die. As a mother now, I understand the absolute grief of the thought of leaving your family behind. There are thousands of people each day who are faced with death, whether it be cancer or a tumor etc.. and I, well, I am the lucky one. And so are you, if you are reading this. You have another day in your life to make a difference, to fight, to be a warrior. Take it!