TEENS WITHOUT CELLPHONES

 by Ani Brioso/Guest Blogger 

Something ALL PARENTS SHOULD THINK ABOUT & TEENS WILL HATE ME!  Just over the weekend I took away my 14-year old's cell phone away.  I never wanted my girls to have cell phones at such a young age but their aunt & grandmother love to spoil my girls & bought them one for Christmas about 2 years ago.  Never did I think that an iPhone could be such a problem for my teenager.  Ever since I allowed these gadgets, they listen to their music blasting, they text, they get on the internet & ZONE OUT from the world. When they get upset because you do not let them go somewhere or they feel they have no life, they zone into their phone & ZONE OUT of life! I am not saying that they have completely been a nightmare.

I have been a single mom for 9 years. My daughters have been and are my world.  I have not been the type of mom that leaves her children at someone else's house, nor the type of mom that leaves her kids alone at the house to go to a bar, nor the type of mom who even goes out for some drinks with the girlfriend's "to get a break" & drop them off at someone's house so I can go have fun. 

Now, for those who know me well, you know I am far from a hypocrite.  This does not mean that I have not wanted to have a break or go out.  I just have chosen to not do such things.  Their dad is not the type of dad who sees them much (I am not going into that conversation, right now).... I have been and am the type of mom who has tried to talk to my daughters so much about the realities of life.  Maybe at times I have spoken too much, as some may say.   I have been criticized yet I do not care because those are words of others that are not the ones who are battling through life with my girls.

I have made mistakes as we all do & tell my girls that parenting does not come with a Guide book when they are born.  I laugh with my girls and act like a complete fool, which is just ME & they love it.  I remind them daily how much I adore them & how proud I am of them.   I try to explain how there father does love them even though he is not around. I explain how everyone loves differently, how boys will try to cop a feel, how boys will lie to get what they want & how friends come & go. I explain how having faith, being who YOU are is what matters & how having an education is the one thing that no one can take from you.   I support them in doing what they love, having a passion for something & trying to teach them to give it there all in life & NEVER QUIT. They have seen me not sleep to make deadlines, they have seen me not eat so they eat.  I will not hide what we have been through.  At times our power has been disconnected because I could not pay it on time & we had a slumber party in the back of my Durango (car) and it was our "little secret."  We have ducked tape my mattress, yet been grateful for having a mattress and bought that  "foamy thing" so mom forgets that she sleeps on a mattress with duck tape. I have moved several times trying to find the one city mom can do well in and that is a nice environment for them to be raised.  I have moved into a city where the wealthy live all for the sake of sending them to a good school yet in one location we found out the neighbor was a drug dealer.   This is just some of my story.

Needless to say, I have tried and will die trying to be a good mom showing my girls what I think is the best for them. But with technology, which I understand is a great thing, it can also be the devil for kids at such a young age.

I hate to hear how teenagers are having sex, doing drugs, dressing like sluts & guys dressing like fools.  I am far from old-fashioned -  I love fashion. The only problem I have had now, is that from so much stress, I have gone through, I let myself go and have not taken care of myself and am at my heaviest, so I do not feel very pretty being fashionable - LOL!

I see girls with these shorts where their butt cheeks come out, parents giving their daughter's implants at 16, 17 & 18 only teaching them what counts is how you look on the outside.  Kids are on their cell phones so much that "real" conversations do not exist.  They arrive from school and go to their rooms to do homework with the cells & yes, mine have done that too at times and so much more that I can say.

BUT WE AS PARENTS DO NOT REALIZE THE HARM.  Since my daughter's phone was taken away, we spend more time talking. Yesterday, she did her homework next to her younger sister & asked for advice. She watched cartoons with her sister & myself. We laughed more (and we laugh lots in my house with my craziness - LOL!)

Just this morning, as I dropped her off in school, as I saw her walking, crossing the street, SHE HAD NO OTHER CHOICE TO LOOK UP & AROUND AT HER SURROUNDINGS.   She had to look at the trees, birds, other people, swinging her arms with her head held up. Such a brief moment made such an impact on me.  I enjoyed seeing it & I cried because all I want her to know & understand, is how much I love her, I adore her, how proud I am of her, how I will support her and how I want to give her so much more in life.

We have just started another chapter in our lives and this one I know will be a bumpy ride.   I just might need a few glasses of wine - LOL! But I have made a decision and my teen might hate me, but she will not be seeing a cell phone for quite some time and will learn to enjoy life without it.

We soon will be making another change, only God knowing where we will be, but I am determined to make the next chapter in our lives a better one, enjoying family, quality time much more and  enjoying mother nature's beauty.

Let's stop caring about what gadgets to give our kids to make them happy, to shut them up so they can keep up with the others and let's start trying to make a difference into raising our daughters to be great, descent, caring girls and raise boys to be gentlemen, both striving to be better individuals who have goals, who will be fighters, who will work hard.

I have a feeling you will hear from me again, as this is just the beginning of how I feel.....  

Love & Be True!!!  ~Ani

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