TIPS ON HOW TO BE MORE POSITIVE AND FIND YOUR BALANCE

How is it exactly that we are suppose to stay positive when we are surrounded by such negativity lately? It can be tough, especially when so many people are going through a hard time living through this pandemic, some still in isolation or stressed out, or living through tough economic hard times. It is not easy on anyone really. Granted, not everyone may be having a hard time; however, this post is for YOU - the one smiling, trying to make sure everything is okay for you, your family, your kids, your partner, your job and so on... The one who is going through the motions each day without asking for help. The one trying to do it all. The one who is not sure how to balance everything and stay positive at the same time. This is also for those people who can never see the positive side of things.

 

I am sure you have probably heard some advice on the topic of staying positive and "doing all the things," or perhaps read some self-help books, maybe even watched countless videos on how to be more positive and eliminate toxic behavior and toxic people from your life and it can seem a little overwhelming at first. It is true that it can be very difficult these days to find your balance/your happy space, given everything going on in the world right now, but don't be discouraged because it CAN be done! It is all about mindset and following some day-to-day practices.

Sometimes, we just have to be reminded about what we need to do, over and over and maybe even see it in black-and-white and read it in the simplest steps possible, so that we can take back control, in order to start living our best lives. It's really not that complicated, nor is it rocket science. It is just a matter of actually making the effort and being consistent about it. Most of the time, the problem is we are not ready or willing to take the steps necessary to make a change or to learn how to enjoy the little things in life without stressing out about everything. We are too comfortable in our “zone,” and sometimes we are even afraid of any kind of change, even if it is for the better.

When we change our mindset, we can change our lives! 

On that note, below are 8 tips on how to start breaking away from a negative mindset and learning to be more positive while finding balance in your life.

 

Here we go:

 

1. Focus on the good things in your life. There is always something to be positive about, even if it is something like having running water in your home and a roof over your head! You have to focus on the small things, maybe even something as trivial as all the traffic lights being green when you are out driving around, or maybe someone you had been thinking about texted you. Focus on the fact that you are able to walk and talk. Those are two things we all take for granted because most of us have the privilege of doing so.  When we start to focus on the blessings in our lives instead of the complaints, things begin to look differently. Part of understanding the bad things that happen is accepting that life is a cycle of ups and downs. There is always going to be good and bad; love and hate; dark and light.  The real goal is to be the good, to be the light and to spread the love, even when everything else around us seems to be falling apart.  Challenges are part of life and difficult situations and obstacles put before you are a part of life.  You will continue to keep making the same mistakes and facing the same challenges if you do not learn from them. We have to learn to find the silver lining in situations. A wonderful book that helps to do just that is "The Magic," by Rhonda Byrne. I highly recommend reading it, as it will change your perspective on things and help you see daily happenings in a more positive light. You don't even have to read that book in any specific order. 

2. Learn to practice gratitude/to give thanks! The first, and often most difficult, step toward practicing gratitude is the practice - actually getting into the habit. You don’t have to be some special Yogi or even a meditation guru. It is a simple as taking time in your day to simply give thanks.  Starting with every day when you wake up. Same thing for when you go to bed at night, give thanks that you made it through another day. First, learn to appreciate all the things you currently have in your life. You must learn to appreciate even the smallest of details in your own life and stop wishing for more, because until you learn to practice gratitude, you will never be able to truly get to a place of contentment and appreciation. Also, no matter what religious faith you were brought up in, (or lack thereof,) I think we can agree that prayer/giving thanks/gratitude is a positive thing. We should be thankful for our lives, for our family, for our friends, for our health, (even if it is not the best at this moment) and for being able to live another day on this Earth.  Giving thanks is an amazing step to living a happy more fulfilled life. Gratitude for life in general because there is always someone with a bigger problem than you.
 

3. Start writing - If you have trouble knowing how to express gratitude, start by keeping a gratitude journal. It doesn’t even have to be a fancy journal or diary . You can get a composition book at the dollar store or even blank pieces of paper and start writing down every day a list of things that you are thankful for. Make this practice a habit and your perspective in life will definitely change.  If you do want to start with a journal that will help with this practice, a good place to start is with this 5-minute gratitude journal that helps you give thanks and practice positivity by prompting you to answer some simple thought-provoking questions. For example: "Name one reason why my life is already great."  Just remember, whether you choose an official gratitude journal or a blank piece of paper, the key is to write honestly with introspection for what you are grateful for.

4. Learn to have fun! Open yourself up to having a good time and remove yourself from the victim mentality. Stop asking why does this happen to me and start saying "what can I learn from this."  You have to stop going to your own pity party.  In other words, stop feeling sorry for yourself and recognize that there is always someone worse off than you, so therefore, you should be grateful for what you have, even if it doesn't feel like a whole lot right now.  Make an effort to do things that make you smile. Have your own dance party at home. Sing. Dance. Make it a point to choose one night and have a date night, or coffee with a friend. Even meeting at Starbuck's or your favorite hangout for one hour with someone you like can be fun. It is a little difficult to find social activities during a pandemic but the good news is things are getting better and you CAN find ways to be creative.  It is just a matter of making the effort of getting out of your routine.  You can also make a plan to watch a funny movie instead of a drama or horror film Unless of course, that is fun for you!) Learn to have a sense of humor and laugh more and if you do not find yourself amusing, start hanging around people who are funny and happy and fun to be with! Which leads me to my next point... 

5. Spend time with positive people. 

In the words of motivational speaker Jim Rohn: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”  And if you are always hanging out with people with a low vibration, people who are always complaining or bringing you down, eventually you start to think like they think and behave like they behave.

And if you’re always by yourself and feeling down and depressed, then that is the vibration that you will radiate, a low vibration. When you surround yourself with positive people who are in a higher vibration it is contagious.

“According to research by social psychologist Dr. David McClelland of Harvard, [the people you habitually associate with] determine as much as 95 percent of your success or failure in life.”

That is a big deal and has important consequences, especially as it relates to your work environment and personal relationships.

You have heard the saying that you can't hang around negative people and expect to have a positive life! Well, it is absolutely true!  You have to do what you can to get out of your bubble if it's bringing you down, and if possible find a "squad" of the highest caliber - high energy, high-frequency people.  Now, that doesn't mean you go out and find a hyper-active person or crazy group of friends, who just love to party (although that's always fun too.)  *What that means, is simply to decide what you want for your life, what kind of energy you want to be surrounded by and anything that isn't that,let it go! This is why it is so important to raise your vibration because good energy is contagious, and therefore when you are on a high vibration, you attract the same. Remember, if you are doing all these positive things and making an effort to find balance in your life but you are still surrounding yourself with "debbie-downers," or people with no ambitions or goals, well then, not a whole lot changes in your life.  *An important note - this doesn't mean that you have to be happy and positive all the time or find people who are always the same - it simply means that you are trying to surround yourself with people who will lift you higher and make you want to be a better you.  Finding time to spend with positive people helps you in your quest to find a better way to a better you!

 

6. Learn to speak to yourself in a  positive way. When that little voice inside your head starts telling you negative things, speak up and fight back!  Wouldn't you "fight back"  if somebody was talking down to you or trying to verbally attack you?  So then, do that in your own mind! Fight back! Speak up! Do not let the negative voice win. Tell yourself that you are smart and brave and you will not allow negative thoughts to take over. You ARE awesome! Find an app on your phone that has positive affirmations if you need a little help.  Set a reminder on your cell phone at 1:11p,m each day and manifest greatness into your life by talking to yourself positively. Talk to yourself as if you were talking to someone you truly loved and cared for. How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you. If you are unsure of how to talk positively to yourself go ahead and pick up the phone or text a friend or family member and do not be afraid to ask for help or simply say you are having a rough day.  It is OK to not be OK. You have to know that you ARE loved!

 

7. Identify the things that make you feel bad. What triggers you? What are areas of negativity for you? Does someone specific annoy you? Does your inability to have free time annoy you or trigger you? Does not being able to be heard/listened to bother you? Does watching the news make you feel bad?If you sit and watch the news all day you are totally going get down and have a very grim view of the world. Given the crazy times that we are living in, it is okay to take a step back, to take a break from the constant bombardment of negativity being thrown at us. Trust me, if there is really bad news or a catastrophe, you’ll know.  You do not have to sit in front of the television and watch every single news report that goes on. Also, if you are surrounded by people that bring you down, take a cold hard look at what you can do about that. There can be people in our lives that are hell-bent on knocking the happiness out of you.  This is the time when we, as individuals have to take action, not turn into doormats. Analyze exactly what it is that is truly bothering you and getting under your skin.  Do you have unresolved issues with someone or something that maybe its time to finally address?  There has never been a better time for insight into what makes us tick.  Once you get to the root of those answers, then perhaps it will be easier for you to move forward to choose better days for your mind, body and spirit.

 

8. Find Your Peace - If for whatever reason you are in a situation where you cannot break away from something or someone who is dragging you down, make sure that you take some time to do things that make YOU happy: like going for a walk, listening to music, taking up a new hobby, playing your favorite sport, crafting, gardening, cooking, writing, reading a book, going to have coffee with a friend, exercising, jogging, meditating, going to the beach..or even around the block of your neighborhood...whatever it takes to bring you peace of mind. It is important to control how we respond to the things sent to destroy our inner peace or at the very least, learn to manage your emotions one at a time. You have to start somewhere. Finding inner peace is the new success!

 

Remember, that life is a cycle of ups and downs and we will always be faced with challenges. We may not always be able to control a situation, but we can definitely control how we respond to it. It is easy to get sucked into the whirlwind of negativity and "blah" mood. Even if you are taking something to make yourself "feel better," if you do not change your mindset you’ll be stuck in the same “muddy waters. 

 

MINDSET IS EVERYTHING!

 

Be like a LOTUS! Even when its roots are in the dirtiest of waters, the Lotus produces the most beautiful flower. It is seen as a symbol of purity, enlightenment, self-regeneration and rebirth. In life we are going to get “dirty” and hurt and tread through some muddy waters, but ultimately, the goal should be to flourish, no matter what the conditions are or what challenges we are faced with. 

 

 

 

In order to be more positive and find your balance, you should start the practice of gratitude and follow the tips previously mentioned, as best as possible. Procrastinating on being more positive only hinders you from living your best life. You have the power to be happy and to choose better days for yourself, each and every day.  When you go to sleep with a grateful heart, you sleep better and you wake up happier. We have the power to manifest greatness and design the life we want. 

 

Take one day at a time and remember that EVERY MORNING, WE ARE BORN AGAIN! 

 

 

 Find Your Balance...

 

 

 

 

 

(DISCLAIMER: This post is intended to simply give tips on how to be more positive on a daily basis. If you believe you are suffering from symptoms of depression or other illness, please seek the attention of a medical professional. The tips mentioned above in no way serve as a remedy to serious medical issues.)

Author:  Lissette Rozenblat