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MEANEST MOTHER EVER.

 

Never thought I’d see the day to actually EARN this title, but apparently I have.  I AM “The Meanest-Mother-Ever,” at least in the eyes of my younger children, especially my teenager.  We have a blended family of five children, but only the youngest two are “lucky” enough to experience my true “meanest-mother phase."  I’m really not that mean, all the time, well, maybe most of the time. J.K. Some times.   

I guess, every time I say, “No,” it earns me points for being mean,  kind of like a frequent-flyer mileage program,  only without the great trips.  Someday, I know I will reap the benefits of these points.  Actually, I’m hoping they will.  Someday, they will get it.  I kind of get it, why they think I am mean.   

I have memories of being a teenager, I’d say about thirteen or fourteen years-old and being so mad at my mother that I would stand behind my closed bedroom door mouthing curse words silently. I know, really rebellious, right?  Ha! But to a kid growing up with two very strict Hispanic parents, this behavior would be punishable for months, if she had actually heard me!  (Boy, how times have changed!)     

How could she not understand? How could she be so mean to me? I use to be so rude to her after she would say "no" to me, kind of how my daughter is to me now. Although, in my defense, I do not say "no" very often, at least I don't think I do,only when I feel very strongly about something or I am just plain PMS'ing (LOL!) 

I know it sounds like I was really rude to my mom but honestly, she never heard what I was actually saying and thinking, and I certainly never disrespected my mother for real.   Of course, I would have never in a million years dared to do that in front of her or anyone else for that matter, but at that moment, when she said “no” to me, in my typical teenage-mode, I hated her.  Well, I wouldn't exactly say "hate" but I would get furious at her.  I was so frustrated, as I am sure every teenager gets when they don't get their way.  I can’t even remember the exact specifics of what I was so upset about but I do remember being so angry with her and thinking she was so mean.   

All who knew her,  knew she was an amazing woman with a heart of gold.  Why someone would ever be mad at her, or think she was mean, would be quite the shocker, but I, her teenage daughter, certainly was back then and quite often.  I didn’t care how “wonderful” or “nice” she was.  She was the one person standing between me and “fun.”  Whatever I thought fun was back then, she was not allowing it.  Sure my dad was the silent strict one but she was the one, who handled the day-to-day, discipline and ultimately decided if I was allowed to go to a party or the mall, or wherever it was I was begging to go at the time.  There were so many things she did not allow.  She would not let me watch certain TV programs because she thought they were too violent, she did not let me hang out with certain "friends" because they were not a good influence, she did not allow me to go to the high school of my choice because she felt the one she chose was the better option, academically speaking.  She always, always had to speak to my friend’s parents before I could go anywhere with them. Wait, what I am I talking about, most of the time, a parent had to go with us.  For a while there, I thought my life was miserable and I could never do anything, like all the other kids did.

Reality was, I had a great childhood with two amazing parents, who truly loved each other and a mother who did not back down on her convictions.   Looking back now as an adult, I can see how truly blessed I was.  I can see now, how my “mean mother” (or so I thought she was then) made all the right choices for me and my younger brother.   Truth is, she was one of the kindest, most-gentle souls I have ever known, but what does a 13-year old know when they are mad?   Perhaps, it is more evident to me because she is no longer with me or probably more so, because I am a mother now.

My mother’s life was cut short at age 50 by breast cancer and as sad as that was for me and as difficult as the years that followed were, it shaped me into the person I am today.

I am far from being as wonderful and loving as my mom was, but now that I am experiencing teenage years, as a mother, I will do my damn best to be the “meanest-mother ever” if I have to be!  If that means I have to protect my children from hanging out with the wrong crowd, or God forbid, having them do homework before going somewhere they want or saying, “No, you cannot have your cell phone,” if they get  bad grades, or taking away privileges like PlayStation and TV, then I am going to do my best to earn that title.  I may not always “stick to my guns” with discipline the way she did, but in the eyes of my children, I am just mean enough to know I am doing a good job so far.

Here’s hoping you too are a “mean mom,” in every good way possible!  

AUTHOR

Lissette Rozenblat a.k.a. "Mommy Warrior," is a "mompreneur"and mother to an amazing "blended" family of 5 children, "The Blat Pack."  She is an influential mommy blogger, a bilingual marketing, social media and communications professional, brand ambassador, brain surgery survivor, living kidney donor, Founder of ThePowertobeHappy.com , The Gift of Life: a Living Kidney Donor Group, HealthWealthFreedom.net and owner of MiaMoon Marketing, Inc, a boutique social media management company.   

She blogs about the adventures and musings of her Argie-Cuban-American-Jewish family on MommyWarriorLady.com and MommyWarrior Facebook page, where she shares real-life stories, humor, quotes, family pictures, recipes and pretty much a little bit of everything.  She mainly blogs about topics that relate to moms and family for readers like you, who love to read about real people and real life.

Join her "Warrior World" and follow MommyWarriorLady.com and LissetteRo.com

BENEFITS OF ROLE-PLAYING GAMES FOR CHILDREN

by Amy Mia Goldsmith (Guest Blogger)

When my daughter first asked me to take her to a friend’s birthday party structured around role-play games, I was very suspicious. Personally, I used to believe that such games have little practical value and serve merely as an escape from reality, not as skill-building playtime. But as I watched her play with other kids at the birthday party, I realized that there are quite a few gains to role playing. If your kids are crazy about Dungeons & Dragons, Legends of Might and Magic, or Game of Thrones, you may want to let them live out their fantasy – and here is why. 

1. Playing Cultivates Creativity

 

Role-playing games revolve around creativity : there are some rules which ought to be followed, but role playing does entail a degree of personal freedom and improvisation. In essence, the aim of the game is to create a story, and storytelling encourages imagination like no other pastime activity out there. During the game, participants cast off their everyday personality and assume a character of a hero or villain, attempting to make the persona as charismatic as possible, which requires active mental work, lots of creativity, and basic acting skills. 

2. Playing Levels Up Your Social Skills

 

Social interaction during a role-playing game is to a degree governed by game rules, but players are allowed to experiment and add a personal touch to the character they are impersonating. Through role play, shy children can overcome their fear of contact and improve communication skills, which is a healthier alternative to video or PC games where the players are separated by screens. By engaging in a role playing session, your little one can make friends based on their interests more easily. In addition to that, the assumed persona allows the child to feel more at ease stepping outside their comfort zone because their personal insecurities and sensitive spots are concealed behind a mask. 

3. Playing Encourages Teamwork and Cooperation

Teamwork and cooperation are valuable lessons that will get your child far in adulthood, and role playing is a great tool for laying down the foundations of these qualities at an early age. Though winning or losing still matters in role play, achieving victory is possible only through collaboration and joint effort, and unless every group member puts their role-determined skills to good use, the whole team will suffer. For this reason, teams must function as a seamless whole and come up with ways to earn points without violating the rules – and that is a priceless skill for a child to develop for their later life. 

4. Playing Teaches Problem Solving Skills

Problem solving is another aspect of role playing that has practical value in the real world. While cheating is not allowed, creative thinking and innovative approach to problems are encouraged by the game master, and team collaboration on a problem is necessary for success. For this reason, role playing teaches kids to keep an open mind, examine the situation from multiple aspects, improvise, and think critically without sacrificing imagination or fun. My kids’ favorite role-playing game is Poptropica, a virtual world which focuses on games, travel, and problem solving, and it has helped my daughter considerably improve her logical thinking. 

5. Playing Is Fun

Role playing is fun, too: it allows the players to turn their back to everyday concerns and step into a magical world where everything is possible. That is probably why both children and adults love these games: there is no embarrassment, no stress, and no long-term consequences, only a challenge and an adventure to be had. The world of role playing is a realm of dreams, where our kids can be whomever they want to be, and the thrills and surprises are a given. 

Role-playing games are not just masquerades for game-crazed geeks and no-lifers: more than a nerdy play-pretend, role play can teach our kids a few lessons about communication, creativity, cooperation, and importance of teamwork. Kids love role playing: it is fun, creative, challenging, and it allows them to put on a persona and practise acting skills – and most importantly, it allows every mother to turn her gaze from her energetic offspring and tend to their own needs. 

About the author

Amy Mia Goldsmith is an Aussie expat living in the UK and a newbie parenting blogger. Check out her blog Young Mom Of Two.

WHAT I AM LEFT WITH AFTER BRAIN SURGERY

It is rather ironic that I spent the last four years of my life working for a low-income, senior citizen, housing community up until the month where I was diagnosed with a "meningioma" brain tumor - "M" for short.)  Actually, I think I know better than to think it was a coincidence. I am a big believer in the theory that "everything happens for a reason." I believe that every place and every person we interact with on a daily basis is put before to teach us a lesson in some way, even if at the time we do not comprehend the how or why.

There were over 100 elderly citizens living independently. I spent day in and day out watching some of these senior citizens literally "lose their minds."

For the most part, everyone was pretty alert and aware, but then there were those few that would forget things, they couldn't remember where their keys were or they claimed someone entered their apartment. They would forget what day it was or where they were going. And I use to think to myself, "Wow, does that suck to  lose your memory."

Here I am, 4 months later scared shi#*less that it is happening to me.  They say "short-term" memory loss is "normal" after brain surgery (well, fellow survivors say, not the doctors) but that is nowhere near comforting.

I forget if I took a shower, (um, that could be a problem!) I forget if I ate, I forget when my husband asks me or tells me something, I don't remember what I had for breakfast or what we did last week.  Sure, most women go through this because they have so much on their "proverbial plate," but not me, I remember EVERYTHING!  Or at least I use to! My dad suggested to me that perhaps this was happening from before. I don't think so!  Either way, now I say, "sucks for me!"  It is a very scary thought to not remember things and to feel like you are literally losing your mind.

I am grateful, don't get me wrong but there are moments I just want to scream!

I was age 45 at diagnosis...date of brain surgery was December 2, 2013.  My "lemon-sized M" was located in the left frontal lobe. I also donated my left kidney in 2008 (a little history there.)  I felt fine then, even after having an organ removed, no major after-effects.  I never had any head trauma, I did however, suffer from headaches my whole life. I was on birth control for over 10 years (including Yaz and Diane-35.) I wonder of course, did hormones play a role?  I only grew suspect when double-vision and ocular migraines started (although the neurosurgeon said not related! Really? I find that hard to believe!)  

What I am left with now after surgery: I am still trying to grow hair back in the incision area, but oddly enough I have lots of hair loss with the long hair I do have. It is crazy the way my hair is falling out!  I have a very bumpy indent (hard to hide) on the left side of my forehead. Sometimes I get depressed, no-good reason really, probably hormonal.  Yeah, add pre-menopause to brain surgery! Ask my husband what a joy I am to live with!  I have weight gain, probably from sitting on my butt all day blogging! LOL! I have prickly feelings in my head like needles being poked (or maybe, someone is doing "vodoo" on me!)  I have "staring spells," that I did not know was common until my meningioma group told me.) I still have poor eyesight in my left eye, and many times feel "drunk,' and like I have a mask over my eyes (the way I look lately, I should!)  I am super irritable, angry and emotional often...but hey, at least I have an excuse, right?  I'll keep telling myself that for a while!!

To those who are curious and researching what it's like after brain surgery, know that it takes a lot of time to heal and even more time to adjust to the "new you."  I know that I will never be the same, but as I analyze the situation, I recognize that I am very lucky and that there are many people who have had similar surgeries and have much more severe problems.

I am alive and AM VERY grateful!!!