14 POSITIVE PARENTING STRATEGIES TO RAISE A HAPPY CHILD

Parenting is one of the most fulfilling jobs imaginable. Yet, it can also be one of the most difficult - mainly because you are tasked with raising a tiny person who is helpless, dependent on your guidance, and will be fully formed by the time they can decide on their own. But there is hope! Significantly improved parenting styles have been created in recent years to make this process easier for both parents and children.

Positive parenting is a unique style of parenting that provides a relaxing, nurturing environment where children can feel secure and develop as individuals. Children need both structure and freedom in their lives but can be exposed to unconditional love (i.e., not being disciplined by varying degrees of anxiety, anger, or frustration) - which is the heart of positive parenting.

Children may not have words to express their feelings. They are more likely to act out their anxiety and stress through their behavior. As parents, you must teach your children discipline in a positive manner to strengthen your bond with your kids. So here are the best positive parenting strategies you can use.

Positive Parenting Strategies to Raise a Happy Child

1. The Early Years Matter

The early years are crucial for children, especially in the first five years of their lives. During this time, children can store and learn the basic information that enables them to carry out certain tasks. During this period, parents must ensure that they instill confidence and trust in their child, which will facilitate child cooperation, healthy interaction, and social skills.

2. Follow a Routine

Babies and small children love routine because it makes everyday activities easier. Schedule a time each day where your child will have fun with a routine like feeding and rocking the baby to sleep, reading bedtime books together, or playing a game. These simple activities will teach your child confidence and happiness, which will help your child thrive mentally, socially, and physically. In addition, regular meals encourage the healthy growth of children by keeping them full of energy throughout the day.

3. Learn the Basics

It is essential to understand that kids grow every minute of the day and that particular tasks like crawling, sitting, and standing are age-specific. Provide your kid time and space to be ready to cross a certain milestone. There's no need to rush! Each small child is unique and grows at different paces. What's ideal is not to compare your small child with other kids, and that can be one of the best parenting strategies parents can learn.

4. Be Good Role Models

Children love to imitate their parents, so provide a role model by demonstrating good behavior and being a dependable leader for your child to follow. Practice what you preach by being generous around the house, for instance, offering to pick up toys as well as helping your kids with their homework. Or, If you want your kid to wash their hands after playing outside, you should wash your hands too after getting back from your work.

5. Concentrate on Daily Chores

It is important to include your child in the day-to-day activities you do at home. Getting your kid involved can help them get used to daily routines that involve chores. Let them play with your keys, let them clean up their toys, and sit on the toilet seat! It will help them understand how to control themselves and develop confidence in doing household chores for later life.

6. Bond Over Fitness

Exercise as a family can be an enjoyable experience for you and your small children. Take up activities that you all like, for instance, swimming, playing basketball, or attending dance classes. Spending at least an hour every day on exercise and physical activity can make a world of difference to children's overall development and growth. 

7. Family Meal Time

Eating a meal together can help to strengthen the bonds between parents and children. All the important features of positive parenting strategies can be encapsulated into that family meal, building a positive impression on your kid's future. It is an ideal time to engage in conversations and discuss each member's day and how it went. Mealtimes are excellent for meaningful conversations and laughter. Family mealtime is also an excellent opportunity to foster early healthy eating habits in your child.

8. Invest in Yourself

You are the most important parent as you are bound to shape your child's future. So make sure that you get enough sleep and manage your stress levels. If you are out of balance, then it will be hard for you to create a healthy and secure environment for your small child to live in. It is important to regularly shower, keep yourself fit with exercise and eat well because these things will help your child regulate their moods. 

9. Work as a Partner with Your Child

Children are more likely to be more cooperative with their parents when they feel as though they are a part of the family. When spending time with your child, talk and interact naturally. Children can't tell you how they feel, but it is important to listen and respond according to how they are feeling. Often, children don't know what needs to be repaired or what is broken or damaged but only know that their world has shifted from under them, and the way forward is unclear.

10. Let Your Parenthood Define You

Another parenting strategy you can follow is to manage your own time accordingly. Let your coworkers or colleagues know that you have a young child waiting for you at home. So instead of expecting your coworkers to understand that you need to leave on time, set your boundaries yourself, right from the start. Be a wise worker and use your time wisely to finish your work and have adequate time for your family.

11. Grandparents Are Blessings

A grandparent can be a great support system for a young couple with small children. They can help babysit, allow you to go out for dinner or a date night, help you with laundry, housecleaning, and cooking meals when you are too tired. Above all, grandparents have years of experience, so they offer their wisdom and help guide parents through the maze of parenting strategies. The more interaction with the extended family, the better your kid's overall development. 

12. Kids Need Kids

Another parenting strategy is to allow your children to be around other children. You can arrange playdates with your kid's friends so that they can share experiences, get to know each other better, and learn to become socially conscious. They develop language skills and learn new activities from each other. They also learn how to be a friend, share things with friends and get along well with others.

13. Understand and Acknowledge the Disappointments of Your Kids

Good parenting strategies involve understanding and acknowledging the disappointments of your kids. Ask them what is bothering them and why they are sad because that will give you an insight into their world. It will help you to understand your kid's minds better, increase their confidence and make them feel more secure. It is important to listen to your kid's stories, show appreciation for their efforts, assure them that they did a good job, and be proud of it.

14. Self-Control for Screen Time

There is no denying that video games and television can play a major role in child development. But the parents must monitor how much time the kids spend on screen and their emotional reactions after playing such addictive games. The screen time should be minimal, as too much screen time during childhood can have a negative impact on children's well-being as adults. You should also communicate to your children what you think is alright for them to watch or play and which activities are okay to avoid altogether.

Parenting is indeed tough, but it is priceless when you see how your kid grows up to become a responsible and thoughtful human being. While raising your kids, you may consider following these strategies to make their childhood more enjoyable and help them become responsible adults.

Guest Author Bio

Andrea is currently the head of content management at SpringHive Web Design Company, a digital agency that provides creative web design, social media marketing, email marketing, and search engine optimization services to small businesses and entrepreneurs. She is also a blog contributor at Baby Steps Preschool where she writes story time themes, parenting tips, and seasonal activities to entertain children.

HOW DO WE HELP OUR TROUBLED YOUTH?

In the quiet town of Parkland, Florida, torn apart by a school shooting last year (2018,) I sat at home working on my computer, when I got a notification on my phone regarding a news report from a media outlet. There was an FBI manhunt for a teenage girl from Miami Beach, Florida, my birthplace and hometown! Immediately, I went to the TV.

An eerie feeling of deja vu, watching this story unfold. It brought about horrible memories of me anxiously being glued to my television on February 14, 2018, as I watched in horror, praying I would see my daughter walk out of her high school, as many of the survivors were doing that day. It would be a quite stressful and scary 30 to 40 minutes of silence that day before we knew our daughter was okay.

Fast-forward to April 2019.


While the outward appearance to the rest of the world was that of a "quiet and smart girl with good grades and a pretty smile," Sol Pais, the South Florida18-year old, who was wanted by the FBI for an apparent threat to Denver schools on April 17, 2019, was actually busy posting questions to online gun forums under the name, "dissolvedgirl." (See below)  Pais had been expressing her true feelings and desires online. 

Question About Non Colorado Resident Buying Shotgun

"hello everybody

Florida resident here. I am planning a trip to Colorado in the next month or so and wanna buy a shotgun while I'm there and I was wondering what restrictions apply for me? I've found a few private sellers I might want to purchase from; is it legal for me as a Florida resident to purchase a shotgun in Colorado? I'm 18 years old too, if it's important. thank you for reading, i appreciate any response" dissolvedgirl

People who knew her, like her classmates were shocked to hear that this quiet person in their class could have been planning something so horrible and unfortunately, ended by taking her own life, according to Denver authorities.

It is becoming more and more worrisome, that some of today's youth seems so troubled and tormented, many of them, suffering in silence until it is too late.

As parents what can we do?  How do we help this troubled youth?  Where can we start?  If you follow my blog or me personally on Facebook, you know that within the last year, I often express my opinions on mass shootings, gun violence and dealing with teenagers. The moment I knew my daughter had survived the school shooting in Parkland, Florida, I was eternally gratefully and vowed to help be the voice for those who can longer speak. 

I think this topic transcends politics or gun reform. As a mother, as a parent, I can see that there is a deeper, more intense problem and that is a social and personal development issue. This is not a fun topic, nor a topic that I intentionally set out to write about, it is something that I sort of fell into, simply based on the love of my children, and wanting to protect their future, my desire to bring about change and my passion to empower today's youth to seek help, if they need it. I also want to be a source of motivation and positivity. If I can help even one student or one parent, then I have done something to make a difference and that is ultimately my goal. 

So, back to my question - "What can we do?"  In light of recent suicides in my community and the school shooting last year, the topic parents have most been discussing here has been, "How can we help our kids?  How can we see the signs?" And "how can we prevent further tragedies?"

As a result, I recently, I attended a few workshops on those topics and everyone suggest counseling, and seeking out professional help, but my personal opinion is, this "help" has to start way BEFORE there is actually any kind of problem.

There are numerous issues intertwined here, such as gun violence, mental health, school shootings, and more, but I believe that it all starts at home with parents and/or guardians.  My father always taught my brother and I this: "Todos los poquitos cuentan," and the translation (more or less) is: all the little pieces add up. As a parent now, I can see the full effect of that statement that I always use to hear growing up.

You don't just wake up one day and suddenly have a troubled teen or a school shooter or a child who randomly wants to kill themselves or harm others. This is a slow problem that is festering inside of an individual, that may not necessarily be apparent to the outside world.

When it comes to our children, no one knows them better (or should know them better) than a parent. It is our job and obligation to know what they are doing, who they are hanging out with, how they are doing at school, what is troubling  them?  It is our job, as annoying as they may think we are, to ask the difficult questions, to inquire who they are going out with (if they are teenagers.) If they are younger, it is also vital to ask them questions as well, even if you have to ask things like, "How was lunch today?" "Who did you sit with?"  

We can also teach them to be involved by helping others, even when they are young, starting in preschool even. As they get older, it is important to teach them that they too can make a positive difference in the world - that they matter and they are important to many people who love them. Self-love and self-development is crucial in the nurturing of a child! Be someone's hero!!

All these little things add up to show that you as a parent, a guardian or a friend care about them. It demonstrates to them that you are involved, but most importantly, it shows that our children are LOVED and that they matter!

There are times when parents think they are doing all the "right" things and yet, their children show signs of trouble. It is no easy task. Parenting is one of, if not the hardest job you will ever have!  There is no handbook on parenting, but it is important to ask for help, to seek guidance and to acknowledge that you don't have all the answers, when it comes your children. We are all learning as we go through this journey of life.

It is also important to recognize those little problems or signs you may have ignored before. Those times your child may have isolated themselves in their room or complained about someone bullying them or told you about a love interest gone awry.  You just never know what is going to trigger someone, emotionally-speaking. We no longer have the luxury of dealing with our kids the way we were raised "back in the day." It may work sometimes, but the truth is, times have changed drastically and social media has played an enormous role in this change. 

Kids (and adults) today, have the ability and easier access to live a "double-life."  They can appear to be one type of person in the real world, while expressing their true feelings online and sometimes in an "underground" and dangerous internet world.

We can help or at least try to help our children by being actively involved as much as possible in their lives every step of the way! And if you don't have the answers or know what to do, do not be afraid to ask for help!  It takes a village is not just a cliche!  I highly believe in the 3 F's in life: Faith, Family and Friends.  As long as you try to keep those 3 present in your life, you are making every effort to raise your kids in the best possible way.

There are never any guarantees in life or on raising our children, so all we can do is educate ourselves on these topics and communicate with one another, on every side of the aisle and every part of the world. We all want peace, love and happy, healthy children!

It is our moral obligation to protect our children the best way we can.  Whether you are a parent or not, they are the future of our world!

TO MY KIDS: SLOW DOWN

My greatest joy in life has been being mom to my little "rink-rats," who are growing so fast.  Even with the teenage eye-rolls, the endless battles of what is best for them, and all the sleepless nights, which I have yet to face, I wouldn't change it for the world! My only wish is that I could slow down time and keep them little for just a little while longer. I am sure every parent looks back at pictures of their kids and wishes that somehow time would slow down.

I made this compilation video for my kids or so I thought. Truth be told, it has actually helped me analyze and appreciate the wonderful moments that have gone by with my children. There are no guarantees how long we have here on Earth and I am of the belief that children our life's greatest blessings, a present from God to be treasured and nurtured as best we can, so while we are here, let's slow down and enjoy the moments.

One thing I have always done which makes my kids crazy, is take pictures!  If you have the chance, do the same! Take the pictures, be in them, be silly! Let them be themselves as you take the photos, even when they don't want you to. 

As they grow older, we are left with snapshots of memories, make them worthwhile!

What I have learned, is to treasure every single phase, as crazy and as frustrating as it may be. Like the song says. "it's all too fast!"

DEALING WITH TEENAGERS

GUEST BLOGGER FROM SOLO LOVE: Ani Brioso Alfonso

I keep asking other moms whose children have passed the teenage stage..."So, does it or when does it get better?"  From what I hear, there is hope but I worry.  I worry because teenagers in today's generation have a lot more stress and temptations than we did when we where young.  I know I sound like an old lady...LOL!

Bullying was really never a big issue when I was young.  Yes, there were the mean kids, the nerds, the popular ones, the easy girls, the boys that were the jocks and the smart ones.  But from what I remember as a teenager, we did not have to deal with so many kids killing themselves because they were so horribly bullied and the divorce rate was not so high as it is today. We did not have to deal with social media, sex texting, internet & inappropriate pictures. The worse that one would hear was someone talking bad about someone else and either horrible or good rumors spreading.  But we all know what is bad tends to be spread more than what is good.  Even in businesses, people tend to make the time to complain but not much of the effort to let someone know how awesome they are.

Not sure if it is just me, but I feel teenagers are having more low self esteem these days.  I currently have 2 beautiful, smart and creative teenage girls. Some in my family and/or friends might even criticize me for having my blog and spilling out my guts about so much.  I personally have a different outlook. I know there are some that do not talk about there home life, some act as if they have the perfect family while others feel that they are not alone. Well, I am one of those that believe that no matter what one will be criticized and I know there are other moms out there not suffering alone.  I am also sure that I am not alone with trying to figure out the best way to help & cope with your teenager whom you adore with all of your heart and would give your life for.

I have tried so hard to always let my girls know how proud I am of them, how they can achieve what ever it is that they want in life and I try not to put a lot of stress on them as far as there grades.  I always tell them that as long as they truly are trying and just doing the best they can and of course, I do want passing grades, is fine with me.  I try & TALK & EXPLAIN how important having an education is and getting a career.  How important it is to do what you LOVE and not what others tell you what you SHOULD do.  How money is not all that matters but what MAKES THEM HAPPY.  I tell them that they DON'T have to get married, have children and live the family life, if that is not what will make them happy, because if they are not happy then they will not be happy being a mom and we all know how tough being a mom is on its' own.  YET THAT ALL STILL DOES NOT SEEM TO BE ENOUGH.  

I have spoken to others, have done some reading and even spoken in regards to get some help.  I know going to a therapist can be so helpful in anyone's life as we all have our own issues to deal with & try to figure out but when you mention THERAPY TO A TEENAGER, they assume that they have some horrible problems and that we, as there mother, think the worse about them and that is NOT THE CASE.  I, for one, just feel I cannot help as much as  a therapist.  I know if I were to mention to my ex-husband, he would get upset at me and that is not what I would want at all. BUT I know that since our divorce and they just do not have a very close relationship with him, that they have a male void in there lives.  The reason why I also say this is because every time I mention the word "Father" to one of my teenagers, when having a serious conversation, it is like a fire hydrant that has exploded from the tears that she sheds.  If that does not say it, then I have no other clue what will.  See, my ex is a very good man. He is a VERY hard working man but is not very affectionate. 

He shows them that he cares by working hard, being able to buy clothes, a laptop that they need for school, gear for the clubs they join and spend some time with them when he can.  Since we live in different states, he does not get to see them every other weekend either.  But I also have to admit that he has been very good with me.  We get along very well now and I know he adores them with his entire heart.  I continue to try to explain and let both of my girls know that he adores them but is just not affectionate yet I do not think they totally understand.  So I have spoken to my ex and we both agree that it is time to see if I can find a therapist for them both and PRAY a therapist can help them both with there self esteem.  

I sit here and think what have I done to have them feel this way.  I know part of the reason is my ex but I also have to admit that thru the years, I was not the perfect role model.  For many years, I rode the Divorce Roller Coaster ride of emotions.  There were times I was angry, working too much, stressing, not giving my children the quality time that I should have, dealing with the guilt of the divorce and so much more.  I know we all, who have experienced DIVORCE understand my feelings.  This is the one ride that I do not ever care to ride again because it is just not fun.  There are so many emotions that one has to try to cope with and at the same time be a parent.  Then I also had added to my list to be a business owner in a small town and ended up having to close the doors because I had an employer, that I trusted way too much, destroy my business and put me out of money.  But during those years of anger and going thru many financial hardship where I even lost my home, I had too LOST FAITH. As I lost my faith, I became negative towards life,men and my future.  That was not good.  I feel as if that is why they also have low self esteem because they have seen it in ME.  We all know that our children absorb and mimic what we do & how we act.  So I think that between both parents, it would not help to get them to find a way to feeling better about themselves.  

I now am a different mom.  I am still struggling financially but my attitude towards life is different.  I also have FAITH.  I am grateful for what I have. Every day I take a few minutes to say THANK YOU to God & the Universe for all that I still have because I know that even if I do not have a lot, I have much more than others.  I LAUGH A LOT MORE TOO!  I joke around so much more than I use to.  Well, not too sure about that because I have always been a jokester but not as much as with my girls as I am now.

My oldest and I, recently found out about Gilmore Girls on Nexflix.  YES, I KNOW I AM SUPER BEHIND. LOL.... We have watched the first two episodes together.  We have made a promise to watch it together.  So far I LOVE IT!  It has a bit of the relationship that we have but I do not think her daughter has low self esteem.  I am excited to continue to make the time & have that be our "MOM/DAUGHTER TIME".  Watch a show that we each can relate too, laugh together and see how it goes.  This will be our first actual chic flick.  As the others we watch together is The Voice, Blacklist and The Chrisley's to name a few.   All I continue to hope is to get closer to both of my girls, have them know how proud I am of them, see them happy, helping them with whatever I can, see them having fun in life but at the same time having to be the Mother.  So I hope that our Mother/Daughter time can help.  I TRULY HOPE THERAPY WILL HELP and that all will be fine.  I know that she posts on social media things that are not true like me telling her that she is worthless but I know she is asking for attention and just hoping she does not get the wrong attention.  Now mind you, I have already sat down & spoken to her about all of this & she even admitted that she does not know why she does it when she knows it is not true.  She keeps saying that she just does not feel good about herself and that is WHAT MY JOB, AS HER MOTHER, IS TO FIND A WAY FOR HER TO BE HAPPY & FEEL GOOD ABOUT THE PERSON THAT SHE IS.  I just know she will not be happy that her mother has a blog that writes about all of these things too...Lol but I truly believe that I am not alone and maybe if others talk too, we might be able to help each other but most of all, our children. 

I wish anyone else who is going thru such situation, the best of luck.  I don't think one needs to be ashamed as a mother.  We, as mothers, know the internal pains that we feel and sometimes knowing we are not alone is a good thing. Maybe by sticking together, talking, we can help each other!!



Guest Blogger:
ANI BRIOSO ALFONSO 

MEANEST MOTHER EVER.

 

Never thought I’d see the day to actually EARN this title, but apparently I have.  I AM “The Meanest-Mother-Ever,” at least in the eyes of my younger children, especially my teenager.  We have a blended family of five children, but only the youngest two are “lucky” enough to experience my true “meanest-mother phase."  I’m really not that mean, all the time, well, maybe most of the time. J.K. Some times.   

I guess, every time I say, “No,” it earns me points for being mean,  kind of like a frequent-flyer mileage program,  only without the great trips.  Someday, I know I will reap the benefits of these points.  Actually, I’m hoping they will.  Someday, they will get it.  I kind of get it, why they think I am mean.   

I have memories of being a teenager, I’d say about thirteen or fourteen years-old and being so mad at my mother that I would stand behind my closed bedroom door mouthing curse words silently. I know, really rebellious, right?  Ha! But to a kid growing up with two very strict Hispanic parents, this behavior would be punishable for months, if she had actually heard me!  (Boy, how times have changed!)     

How could she not understand? How could she be so mean to me? I use to be so rude to her after she would say "no" to me, kind of how my daughter is to me now. Although, in my defense, I do not say "no" very often, at least I don't think I do,only when I feel very strongly about something or I am just plain PMS'ing (LOL!) 

I know it sounds like I was really rude to my mom but honestly, she never heard what I was actually saying and thinking, and I certainly never disrespected my mother for real.   Of course, I would have never in a million years dared to do that in front of her or anyone else for that matter, but at that moment, when she said “no” to me, in my typical teenage-mode, I hated her.  Well, I wouldn't exactly say "hate" but I would get furious at her.  I was so frustrated, as I am sure every teenager gets when they don't get their way.  I can’t even remember the exact specifics of what I was so upset about but I do remember being so angry with her and thinking she was so mean.   

All who knew her,  knew she was an amazing woman with a heart of gold.  Why someone would ever be mad at her, or think she was mean, would be quite the shocker, but I, her teenage daughter, certainly was back then and quite often.  I didn’t care how “wonderful” or “nice” she was.  She was the one person standing between me and “fun.”  Whatever I thought fun was back then, she was not allowing it.  Sure my dad was the silent strict one but she was the one, who handled the day-to-day, discipline and ultimately decided if I was allowed to go to a party or the mall, or wherever it was I was begging to go at the time.  There were so many things she did not allow.  She would not let me watch certain TV programs because she thought they were too violent, she did not let me hang out with certain "friends" because they were not a good influence, she did not allow me to go to the high school of my choice because she felt the one she chose was the better option, academically speaking.  She always, always had to speak to my friend’s parents before I could go anywhere with them. Wait, what I am I talking about, most of the time, a parent had to go with us.  For a while there, I thought my life was miserable and I could never do anything, like all the other kids did.

Reality was, I had a great childhood with two amazing parents, who truly loved each other and a mother who did not back down on her convictions.   Looking back now as an adult, I can see how truly blessed I was.  I can see now, how my “mean mother” (or so I thought she was then) made all the right choices for me and my younger brother.   Truth is, she was one of the kindest, most-gentle souls I have ever known, but what does a 13-year old know when they are mad?   Perhaps, it is more evident to me because she is no longer with me or probably more so, because I am a mother now.

My mother’s life was cut short at age 50 by breast cancer and as sad as that was for me and as difficult as the years that followed were, it shaped me into the person I am today.

I am far from being as wonderful and loving as my mom was, but now that I am experiencing teenage years, as a mother, I will do my damn best to be the “meanest-mother ever” if I have to be!  If that means I have to protect my children from hanging out with the wrong crowd, or God forbid, having them do homework before going somewhere they want or saying, “No, you cannot have your cell phone,” if they get  bad grades, or taking away privileges like PlayStation and TV, then I am going to do my best to earn that title.  I may not always “stick to my guns” with discipline the way she did, but in the eyes of my children, I am just mean enough to know I am doing a good job so far.

Here’s hoping you too are a “mean mom,” in every good way possible!  

AUTHOR

Lissette Rozenblat a.k.a. "Mommy Warrior," is a "mompreneur"and mother to an amazing "blended" family of 5 children, "The Blat Pack."  She is an influential mommy blogger, a bilingual marketing, social media and communications professional, brand ambassador, brain surgery survivor, living kidney donor, Founder of ThePowertobeHappy.com , The Gift of Life: a Living Kidney Donor Group, HealthWealthFreedom.net and owner of MiaMoon Marketing, Inc, a boutique social media management company.   

She blogs about the adventures and musings of her Argie-Cuban-American-Jewish family on MommyWarriorLady.com and MommyWarrior Facebook page, where she shares real-life stories, humor, quotes, family pictures, recipes and pretty much a little bit of everything.  She mainly blogs about topics that relate to moms and family for readers like you, who love to read about real people and real life.

Join her "Warrior World" and follow MommyWarriorLady.com and LissetteRo.com

MY DADDY IS A LIAR

A dad lies to his daughter every single day. Now watch her find out why... and love him even more for it (at approx. 0:49...)  

A Child's Future is Worth Every Sacrifice!

 

Whether you are a mother or a father or a guardian caring for a child, know that the sacrifices you make every day will better your child's future.  That is the goal, to leave our children with a better world, a better future!

BE THE PARENT, NOT A FRIEND

There is a fine line between being a strict mom and trying to be friendly with your kid so you can relate to them.  In my experience, it is always best to be "mom" first!  You can be "friends" later when your child is an adult, but as they are growing up, especially during the teen and tween years, being a parent should take precedence. ( prec·e·dence)
 

Sometimes, I find myself trying to get "too friendly" with my tween and her friends, but this is only so I can stay "in the loop" of what's going in their "tween world."  No parent should be so oblivious to what's going on in their children's lives. You can be friendly but make sure to not let your child confuse you "being friendly" with you being the parent!  

Recently, I saw a picture online of a mother and daughter dressed for Halloween.  I can't even begin to tell you how mortified I was when I saw the picture.  It was a mother and daughter, (who is probably about 14 years old,) and they were both dressed as "slutty nurses!"  Now, while the mother looked amazing and is obviously in great shape, I was shocked that any parent would let their child go out dressed in the fashion that this young lady was (barely) dressed. Sure, it was a Halloween costume, but this mom was trying to "hang" with her kid and be cool like her, and yes, she even looked better than her child, but this is no way for a parent to act.  Allowing your child to look and dress provocatively on purpose! Really?  ( Yeah, I am being opinionated and judgmental right now, that's why I have a blog.)

I remember when my step-daughter "hated" her father during her teen years because life was so miserable with all the "rules and regulations," but today, she is eternally grateful for having such a loving-caring (and yeah, some times, strict parents.)

However, in the same, breath, I tell my children that I will always be the best friend they will ever have, because I will always love them unconditionally, never betray them and always have their back!  I try to teach them that having a good friend, means having those qualities.

I recently read an article where, actress, Kelly Ripa talked about her teen daughter not liking her.  She said, " "I don't think she likes me, but I don't care. I'm like, 'I'm not your friend, I'm your mom,'" Ripa told Wendy Williams. "I just feel an obligation as her mom to keep her living in the real world.  I don't care who you are or what you do, if you're a mom, you're a mom." 

Ripa, 44, explained that not only is she a source of embarrassment for her teen, but recently, she and her husband, Mark Consuelos, were forced to punish their daughter. Ripa said she revoked their daughter's phone and Internet privileges because she was using her phone when she was supposed to be studying Spanish. 

At the end of the day, you are the parent, and you should always act accordingly.  If your child currently "hates" you or thinks you are the "meanest mother ever," you are probably doing a great job!  



“A daughter is a mother's gender partner, her closest ally in the family confederacy, an extension of her self. And mothers are their daughters' role model, their biological and emotional road map, the arbiter of all their relationships.”
― Victoria Secunda

Sources to check out:
Empowering Parents
Psychology Today
DailyMailUK
More4Kids