A POSITIVE DIRECTION: Helping Your Kids to Make Healthy Decisions

Modern life can bring with it all kinds of risky temptations for teenagers, and as a parent, it is not always easy to stay on top of things. But if you’re willing to read up and exercise some patience, it is possible to educate and help your children make healthy choices. 

Here some examples of how to start: 

Healthy Eating

In the age of smartphones, junk food is only ever a tap away. With the unhealthy options so easily accessible, it can be difficult for children and teenagers to resist indulging in fried foods, burgers, and soft drinks. Fortunately, there are also incentives to drag us all in a more positive dietary direction - Instagram, for example, has given rise to a healthy-eating counterculture. Sometimes, just by introducing a young person to positive, diet-focused influencers, you can shape their eating habits for the better.
 
Another great way to get the kids eating healthier is by introducing them to new recipes. Cooking is, in itself, an enjoyable activity when done right. Many children (and especially teenagers) would love to be more self-sufficient, and cooking could give them more independence as well as an outlet for stress. If you’re not sure where to start, there are plenty of excellent recipes online that can be prepared by amateurs.

Exercise
 
It’s difficult to overstate the importance of exercise in the life of a growing child but many kids aren’t getting nearly enough daily exercise. Trying to get them engaged in sports and physical activity is a struggle when there is so much viewing content and video games on offer. The key is often to give them the choice - by appealing to a child’s self-interest you can often incentivize them to volunteer to exercise.
 
Another way to interest them involved in physical activity is to possibly add a home gym. A basement, garage, or unused bedroom makes a great spot for a gym. Start off slow by investing in some rubber flooring, resistance bands, and a few weights. If you’re planning on making more substantial upgrades, be sure to track updates as certain improvements can raise the value of your home. 
 
If your child is someone who engages with online multiplayer games, there’s a good chance that he or she is competitive. This is also an advantage if you’re trying to steer them towards exercise, as team sports will appeal to their sense of competition and often provide some much-needed relief from any pent-up stress or frustration. If they have had bad experiences with one sport, it might be worth suggesting another - just remember, ultimately this will have to be their choice and by pushing too hard you can create push-back.
 
Dating
 
Dating apps are now an inextricable part of life for young people and there are some built specifically for teenagers (ages 13-18.) Many young people have positive experiences through these apps but they also come with some risks. As a parent, it’s useful to define your own parameters on what is and what isn’t appropriate when it comes to online dating but, if you can’t keep the kids away from their phones, the next best thing is to open a constructive dialogue. By listening to their point of view and sharing your own, you may find you’re able to compromise and create some rules together.
 
Safety is always the primary concern when it comes to teens and dating - this is true on and offline. To help keep your child/teenager safe when exploring new apps, it is important to observe good advice. A match should always have a verified profile, and it’s not uncommon to talk virtually on video before meeting in real life. Just keeping your kids informed on these issues is a surefire way to encourage caution.
 
Growing up is never easy and part of that is making mistakes and part of being a parent is forgiving them and understanding their "growing pains." And it is very important to always try to steer them in the right direction to make healthy decisions. 

Just remember to always keep conversations light and open.

 
Guest Blog Post:

Cheryl Conklin

Wellness Central

cherylc@wellnesscentral.info

www.wellnesscentral.info

Wellness is central to a happy life.

(Image source by Pexels)

 
Visit Mommy Warrior Lady for family-oriented articles, recipes, shopping links and tips on life as a mom raising kids, running a business from home!

DEALING WITH TEENAGERS

GUEST BLOGGER FROM SOLO LOVE: Ani Brioso Alfonso

I keep asking other moms whose children have passed the teenage stage..."So, does it or when does it get better?"  From what I hear, there is hope but I worry.  I worry because teenagers in today's generation have a lot more stress and temptations than we did when we where young.  I know I sound like an old lady...LOL!

Bullying was really never a big issue when I was young.  Yes, there were the mean kids, the nerds, the popular ones, the easy girls, the boys that were the jocks and the smart ones.  But from what I remember as a teenager, we did not have to deal with so many kids killing themselves because they were so horribly bullied and the divorce rate was not so high as it is today. We did not have to deal with social media, sex texting, internet & inappropriate pictures. The worse that one would hear was someone talking bad about someone else and either horrible or good rumors spreading.  But we all know what is bad tends to be spread more than what is good.  Even in businesses, people tend to make the time to complain but not much of the effort to let someone know how awesome they are.

Not sure if it is just me, but I feel teenagers are having more low self esteem these days.  I currently have 2 beautiful, smart and creative teenage girls. Some in my family and/or friends might even criticize me for having my blog and spilling out my guts about so much.  I personally have a different outlook. I know there are some that do not talk about there home life, some act as if they have the perfect family while others feel that they are not alone. Well, I am one of those that believe that no matter what one will be criticized and I know there are other moms out there not suffering alone.  I am also sure that I am not alone with trying to figure out the best way to help & cope with your teenager whom you adore with all of your heart and would give your life for.

I have tried so hard to always let my girls know how proud I am of them, how they can achieve what ever it is that they want in life and I try not to put a lot of stress on them as far as there grades.  I always tell them that as long as they truly are trying and just doing the best they can and of course, I do want passing grades, is fine with me.  I try & TALK & EXPLAIN how important having an education is and getting a career.  How important it is to do what you LOVE and not what others tell you what you SHOULD do.  How money is not all that matters but what MAKES THEM HAPPY.  I tell them that they DON'T have to get married, have children and live the family life, if that is not what will make them happy, because if they are not happy then they will not be happy being a mom and we all know how tough being a mom is on its' own.  YET THAT ALL STILL DOES NOT SEEM TO BE ENOUGH.  

I have spoken to others, have done some reading and even spoken in regards to get some help.  I know going to a therapist can be so helpful in anyone's life as we all have our own issues to deal with & try to figure out but when you mention THERAPY TO A TEENAGER, they assume that they have some horrible problems and that we, as there mother, think the worse about them and that is NOT THE CASE.  I, for one, just feel I cannot help as much as  a therapist.  I know if I were to mention to my ex-husband, he would get upset at me and that is not what I would want at all. BUT I know that since our divorce and they just do not have a very close relationship with him, that they have a male void in there lives.  The reason why I also say this is because every time I mention the word "Father" to one of my teenagers, when having a serious conversation, it is like a fire hydrant that has exploded from the tears that she sheds.  If that does not say it, then I have no other clue what will.  See, my ex is a very good man. He is a VERY hard working man but is not very affectionate. 

He shows them that he cares by working hard, being able to buy clothes, a laptop that they need for school, gear for the clubs they join and spend some time with them when he can.  Since we live in different states, he does not get to see them every other weekend either.  But I also have to admit that he has been very good with me.  We get along very well now and I know he adores them with his entire heart.  I continue to try to explain and let both of my girls know that he adores them but is just not affectionate yet I do not think they totally understand.  So I have spoken to my ex and we both agree that it is time to see if I can find a therapist for them both and PRAY a therapist can help them both with there self esteem.  

I sit here and think what have I done to have them feel this way.  I know part of the reason is my ex but I also have to admit that thru the years, I was not the perfect role model.  For many years, I rode the Divorce Roller Coaster ride of emotions.  There were times I was angry, working too much, stressing, not giving my children the quality time that I should have, dealing with the guilt of the divorce and so much more.  I know we all, who have experienced DIVORCE understand my feelings.  This is the one ride that I do not ever care to ride again because it is just not fun.  There are so many emotions that one has to try to cope with and at the same time be a parent.  Then I also had added to my list to be a business owner in a small town and ended up having to close the doors because I had an employer, that I trusted way too much, destroy my business and put me out of money.  But during those years of anger and going thru many financial hardship where I even lost my home, I had too LOST FAITH. As I lost my faith, I became negative towards life,men and my future.  That was not good.  I feel as if that is why they also have low self esteem because they have seen it in ME.  We all know that our children absorb and mimic what we do & how we act.  So I think that between both parents, it would not help to get them to find a way to feeling better about themselves.  

I now am a different mom.  I am still struggling financially but my attitude towards life is different.  I also have FAITH.  I am grateful for what I have. Every day I take a few minutes to say THANK YOU to God & the Universe for all that I still have because I know that even if I do not have a lot, I have much more than others.  I LAUGH A LOT MORE TOO!  I joke around so much more than I use to.  Well, not too sure about that because I have always been a jokester but not as much as with my girls as I am now.

My oldest and I, recently found out about Gilmore Girls on Nexflix.  YES, I KNOW I AM SUPER BEHIND. LOL.... We have watched the first two episodes together.  We have made a promise to watch it together.  So far I LOVE IT!  It has a bit of the relationship that we have but I do not think her daughter has low self esteem.  I am excited to continue to make the time & have that be our "MOM/DAUGHTER TIME".  Watch a show that we each can relate too, laugh together and see how it goes.  This will be our first actual chic flick.  As the others we watch together is The Voice, Blacklist and The Chrisley's to name a few.   All I continue to hope is to get closer to both of my girls, have them know how proud I am of them, see them happy, helping them with whatever I can, see them having fun in life but at the same time having to be the Mother.  So I hope that our Mother/Daughter time can help.  I TRULY HOPE THERAPY WILL HELP and that all will be fine.  I know that she posts on social media things that are not true like me telling her that she is worthless but I know she is asking for attention and just hoping she does not get the wrong attention.  Now mind you, I have already sat down & spoken to her about all of this & she even admitted that she does not know why she does it when she knows it is not true.  She keeps saying that she just does not feel good about herself and that is WHAT MY JOB, AS HER MOTHER, IS TO FIND A WAY FOR HER TO BE HAPPY & FEEL GOOD ABOUT THE PERSON THAT SHE IS.  I just know she will not be happy that her mother has a blog that writes about all of these things too...Lol but I truly believe that I am not alone and maybe if others talk too, we might be able to help each other but most of all, our children. 

I wish anyone else who is going thru such situation, the best of luck.  I don't think one needs to be ashamed as a mother.  We, as mothers, know the internal pains that we feel and sometimes knowing we are not alone is a good thing. Maybe by sticking together, talking, we can help each other!!



Guest Blogger:
ANI BRIOSO ALFONSO 

TEENAGE DEMON SYNDROME

I have never asked God to grant me as much patience as I am requesting right now!  In less than 5 days my 13-year old daughter, (very soon to be 14-year old) will be starting high school! I knew that sassy, smart-alec mouth would come and bite me in the ass someday, in the form of karma!  All I can think of is, "Geez,  my poor mother!" God rest her soul, she was one very patient woman, because I don't know how she put up with me!  And now I have to put up with "mini-me" on steroids!

I ask myself, how does a sweet, cute loving girl, mysteriously turn into "Sybil, the Devil-Child," the moment she enters her teens?  One minute, it was all fun and games, going shopping at Justice and buying her adorable clothes and the next, it's "eye-rolling 101" with a side of snide remarks served up on a daily platter, I didn't order.  

Who knew, I would have such little patience?  I mean, I've been through this before with my step-daughter but I guess it's not the same when your kid lives with you 24-7, plus, I must say, to my detriment, she does have my genes AND her sister's! (Talk about payback!) I am sure I will find the humor in that maybe four or five years from now.

For now, it is bad mood in the mornings, bad mood when she's hungry, bad mood when's she's sleepy, oh and of course, bad mood every time I say "no!"  So let me see , that leaves me with a window of opportunity from maybe 2:30-3:30p,m, in a car ride, or maybe at night from 11:00p.m. til midnight, when I occasionally get the scoop of what's going on in her life. Wow! Two whole quality hours of the "real" kid I gave birth to.  Did I really put my mom through the same thing?  (Note to Heaven:  "So sorry Mom!)

I know it can be really stressful to start a new school, especially high school but boy, do I hope this is just a short phase.  (Let me indulge a little in that fantasy, will ya?)

Truth be told, I have an amazingly wonderful, smart and beautiful daughter but some days she is just simply possessed with the "teenage demon syndrome!" Not all get it, but those with a smart-ass, sassy attitude from the time they are young and too smart for their own good, often do.  I know from experience it will pass, but in the meantime, I need lots of patience!  And you my friends, the readers, are going on this ride with me for the next four years as I vent and ask for patience, MNO's and maybe even a few shots of Whiskey during these high school years, good times and in bad, Mommy Warrior-style!

MY BEAUTIFUL LITTLE LADY!

I know it will be an interesting ride with many ups and downs but one thing I know for sure, is that when all the "smoke" clears, she will come out smarter, stronger and more fierce than ever and she will always be my loving little girl that I adore! 

Let this next chapter begin.  

SHE & I ON A SATURDAY AFTERNOON OUTING- AUG. 2016