ROUGH RIDE

So, I am having some serious trouble moving on from the whole craniotomy thing.  It's been 3 weeks since my surgery to remove a (benign) meningioma.  Thankfully, I am much better, but now I am getting paranoid about having headaches and weird sensations in my nasal passages, the tightness in myskull: from the plates and screws holding the bone flap ( I guess!) It feels very tight like your skull is ridged instead of fluid feeling. (It is hard to explain but feels super weird plus continued poor vision out of my left eye.  The surgeon says that the vision problem has nothing to do with the surgery.  Hmm?  I know I am getting into the bi-focal stage (age 45 yr.) but I am very skeptical about that not being related.  The meningioma was the size of a lemon located in my left frontal lobe, so hmmm?!  I am also super freaked out about my scar and how big it is.  I was told by a massage therapist that I should massage it and put Vitamin E on it so that it doesn't remain hard and give me more headaches in the future.  Today, I looked at the actual entry point where the worst part of the scar is and I almost fainted.  Everyone tells me it's not so bad and that it is healing nicely, but I haven't shown anyone the ACTUAL entry point.  I know this is all superficial stuff  but it concerns me, nonetheless.  I guess I got worse because I started reading blogs about other people who have had removal of meningiomas and their stories are not all pretty.  Almost everyone says exhaustion is normal, so I don't feel so bad there but one person said it could take months even years to have your brain completely heal!  Wow!

I will tell you this, in the whole scope of things, right now , everything in my life makes sense.    If you have gone through this or any life change health-related event, I can tell you that the little things that bother you will fall by the way-side and you’ll just be really grateful to be alive, as I am! I am truly trying to enjoy that feeling (at least when I don't have headaches or when I am not being a referee to my two kids who are always arguing! :o)

It's a rough ride and very surreal and I know it will be a long road to full recovery but        I keep telling myself how lucky I am and trying to learn a little more each day.

STIR-CRAZY

I said I was moving on from the topic but I can't! This is why I blog, to vent!  I am feeling much better physically but now my vain, superficial-self is showing!  I am frustrated at this scar, although I am so grateful they did not shave my head.  I am tired of wearing a bandana but the scar is so creepy, I must.  It is itchy and it stings and my hair is three different colors!  My surgeon said I have to wait at least one month before I dye my hair again!  I am eating like a manic and I can't even blame it on the steroids anymore!  I go into fits of anger and rage and again, I cannot blame it on the steroids because I finished them a week ago!!! Right, it's not the steroids after effect?  I am going stir-crazy with two kids in the house until January 6th!  I really am grateful, but damn, I really I need "normal" again.  Whatever that is...

"Everything will be alright does not mean, Everything will stay the same."

WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED?! (Life after Brain Surgery)

Whoa!  What the heck just happened one week after my brain surgery? I was doing great, no pain, loving life and then "bam!" I come off of the steroids they gave me to avoid the swelling in my brain and the whole world just came crashing down on me. I don't think I really had warning about this, or if I did, I think I was feeling quite nicely to actually pay attention.  

Wow, what horrible pain I experienced.  I don't know how people do drugs, willingly! Really? They must be nuts!  Exactly, one week after having a meningioma removed from my left frontal lobe, I began to experience headaches and swelling and pain to the touch in every part of my body.  Even wearing my bra hurt me. My eyelashes hurt. If I laughed, it hurt. I can't believe I had taken zero pain meds and was now being forced to take some pain killers one week later.  

Where in the world was this coming from? Well, it turns out according to my neurosurgeon, this is all "normal stuff" coming off of the steroids.  He was more concerned on how my incision was doing than the horrible pain I was experiencing all over my body.  I guess I have to say it was somewhat comforting to know the surgeon was not freaked out about this, but I, on the other hand, was like "what the heck just happened to me?!"  

I guess it's all part of the process.  One day at a time.

THE OUTCOME - SURVIVING A BRAIN TUMOR

Well, I am happy to report that I am back to blogging after successful brain surgery on Dec. 3, 2013. I was so non-chalant about it as I went into it, that now sitting back and reflecting upon it three days later, all I can say is "WOW!"  I had my operation at Jackson Memorial/University of Miami with one of their top neurosurgeons.

I got extremely lucky that somehow my primary care physician knew this surgeon personally and placed a call for me. I am forever grateful for that as well.

I was sent home ONE day after brain surgery for the removal of a meningioma.  Oh! and I also had to have an embolization procedure. (An embolization involves threading a thin tube (catheter) up the leg veins or arteries directly into the blood vessels that feed the tumor. Then a glue-like clotting substance is injected to choke off and shrink the tumor.)  In my case, they went up the groin area, and I was pretty much awake.  This was not any fun at all!  I kept asking for more "twilight" medicine, so I would not hear and see the procedure, but no luck! it was the weirdest feeling ever to feel a wire going up my body and up to my brain.  I am sorry, I know that sounds horrible reading it, but just imagine me, half-awake as they did the procedure!

I am eternally grateful for the outcome.  The tumor in my brain, behind my left eye was in a location that thankfully, was relatively easy to remove. The surgeon said that it is most likely Grade 1 Benign: these are very slow-growing tumors and account for 75 percent of all meningiomas.)  I will still have to wait for the pathology report but, it is benign according to the surgeon. I was very, very blessed that this MENINGIOMA was operable and benign and easily accessible.  

I cannot even begin to express the gratitude. I know there will be many more bumps in the road of life but at least I know this is a pretty huge one I just crossed!  I am very happy with the outcome and just want to let you know, in case you are randomly searching the internet and researching, "What is a meningioma" and sharing a success story.